A Chorus of the Heart
by nikie13
Summary: A chorus of the heart to know more pls read.... tnx


A Chorus of the Heart

- Nekida

// Chapter One : A Melody of Confusion and Love

There's nothing that feels better than sharing a room with the one you love. Okay, maybe I'm overreacting. A huge plate of meatbuns is a tad better than that, I agree. Though, when it doesn't happen often, you can't help but feel happier than usual.

That's what I would've thought, if it hadn't been for the person I had met so many hours earlier. I couldn't get her face and her angelic voice out of my mind. The images and the sounds were replaying in my head over and over again, invading every thought. Her brown hair that almost matched my own, those green eyes you can practically swim in, they lit up my life the moment they had come into sight. And to top it all off, an excellent cook she was! It almost hurt to talk; everyone who replied owned her voice. I couldn't hold a conversation for three minutes and not hear her speak.

"Goku? I like that name."

She had said that so brightly, I felt I could live off that light forever. But. . .

What about the light I already had?

I snapped out of my trance, lifting my head off my tense hand as I swam back to reality. I was pretty tipsy from dinner. Cold sensations slowly brushed my arm while I searched for the cause, my gaze meeting up with the window that I happened to be staring out of the whole time. I sighed, my eyes drifting shut slowly.

Damn, it had been a tiring week (and slightly cold as well). And I don't mean that we were fighting every second of the last few days, really, we saw almost no action at all. It's because we did practically nothing that we're so tired. I was even too tired to fight with Gojyo at dinner a few hours ago. All I need is a nice twelve-hour nap, I thought as I almost let go of the waking world. . .

"Hey, bakasaru. . ." A familiar voice woke me up instantly.

Oh yeah. . . Sanzo.

I opened my eyes a bit, finding Sanzo sitting on his bed, reading a newspaper, face slightly tinted red (he had held back a couple of drinks..), his mouth occupied with a cigarette. I lazily squinted at him, then caught up with my drunk slumber. ". . .Don't call me that. . ."

"I can call you whatever I want."

". . . That's nice." I replied sleepily, not in the mood to argue.

". . . Idiot."

Ignoring him, I sighed once more. I felt no urge to talk to my keeper. After all, he is -- partly -- the cause of my troubles.

Oh? You don't know? To tell you the truth, I love Sanzo. I have ever since he glanced back at me with those deep amethyst eyes. Of course, I hadn't noticed it until a while ago. Now that whenever I'm alone and standing right next to him, I can't help but feel slightly breathless. It's a curse, but one that I wouldn't trade for the world.

That's where she comes in. The girl that suddenly walked into my life, beautifying it with emotional gardens, and destroying it by building high walls between me and Sanzo. I know I'm in love, but with who? The man who took me and showed me what it meant to bathe in the light of freedom, or the girl that I feel will willingly stay by my side forever?

I sighed softly, lifting myself off of the chair by the window, and slugged over to the unoccupied bed across the room. After taking residence, I shifted, staring at the wall that the bed was pushed against, taking in it's details for no reason at all. My hand raised to comb through my hair once or twice, obviously an excuse to find something to fiddle with.

"Ne. . . Sanzo," I said without thinking.

"What?" He sounded slightly annoyed, most likely by my constant fidgeting.

"I can't sleep."

"You looked like you were going to pass out over there by the window." He took a drag of his cigarette, then disposed of it like all of the others.

I turned around in my sheets to look up at the face of my sun. In the soothing illumination of the room, he looked almost godly, not too bright and not too dull, the kind of image I had always seen in him ever since our first hours together.

His purple gaze rested on mine, an exasperated look crossing his features. I could feel my face heating slightly.

"Yeah, but it's like, I want to go to sleep but I can't." I said, making a face.

Silent minutes passed us, the atmosphere almost scaring. I felt my breath begin to quicken; I couldn't stand these awkward moments. I waited, drumming my fingers on the bed. Sanzo rolled his eyes, opening his mouth to speak.

"Stop thinking about her, your nervous fidgeting is giving me a headache." He finally replied. My eyes widened as I jerked up in an upright position.

"H-How did you know. . . t-that I. . ." I stuttered, my heart drumming in my chest. Sanzo glared at me; I could feel more heat rise through my cheeks.

"You're too obvious, bakasaru. You kept glancing at her, smiling, and I even caught you blushing when she asked to have a drink with us." Since when had Sanzo been so observant? Shit, if I was obvious, then did Hakkai and Gojyo figure it out as well? I mentally slapped myself. If Gojyo knew, he would have a field day. Shaking the thought aside, I drifted back to Sanzo's comment. Words couldn't come to me. No sentence could reply to what he had just said. My eyes fell to the folds in the sheets of my bed, another sigh escaping my lips.

I could feel tears welling up in my eyes as I swam deeper into the endless confusion. Who did I love most? It was hard to say. So many questions and answers raced through my thoughts, but the real question didn't show. I couldn't find the answer that would solve all of my problems right then and there.

The only thing I could do was. . .

Standing up on my feet, I sulked over to Sanzo's bed. With a deep breath, I let myself fall, the mattress catching me softly. My vision focused on the plain ceiling, but moments later I found myself staring into pools of amethyst.

"What the hell's wrong with you?" The owner said. I could hear a small hint of concern in his voice.

The question drove me to the edge. I couldn't tell him, could I? It was about the right time to try to win his love, wasn't it? I sat up and looked at him, my expression filled with sorrow and seriousness.

"Sanzo. . . I'm so confused. . ." I muttered, bowing my head.

"Tch, if you're having love troubles, take them to Hakkai. I have nothing to do with this."

"I can't,"

"And why the hell not? I'm not your personal advice columnist, ya know."

I looked back up at him, my hand trembling. I felt a surge tickle my backbone as I let the tears slowly fall.

"You have everything to do with this!" I burst, my voice wavering. He gave me a questioning look that I reacted to instantly.

"I. . ."

I couldn't bring myself to say it. They were the three words I had hoped to tell him for the past three years. Knowing Sanzo, he would probably ignore me. Who knows? Maybe that was the reason I didn't say them.

Fed up with the malicious aura of the room, I stood up on my feet, swiftly stealing Sanzo's lighter off the bedside table before exiting the room. The last thing I heard from my charge was my name, spoken in a worried voice that made my heart shudder.

_ - _ - _ - "moo" - _ - _ - _

I found myself outside the inn a few minutes later with a candle and the lighter in my hand. I sat down, leaning against the front wall of the establishment, watching the candle's growing flame flicker as I attempted to light it. Setting it down next to me, I observed the nearly starless night sky. There were three stars at most, the number reminding me of my confusion. They were in a zig-zag like pattern embedded in the sky. I pointed out each one and named them after me and the two beings that I loved.

I sighed, wondering what Sanzo was thinking about at that moment. Perhaps he thought I was crazy? Lovesick? Stupid? Yeah, stupid's the word. I've always been called that. . . I'd gotten used to it, though sometimes deep inside, it did hurt. But I can forgive Sanzo, I know he doesn't mean it.

"Heh, you may be stupid, but you are cute!"

Damn it all. Every thought that played in my mind somehow led me back to . . . her. By then I had realized, that love at first sight is real.

Shrugging off the last thought, I quickly disposed of the flame that burned beside me and stood up, brushing my self off. I took a long last look at the stars before heading into the inn, making my way into me and Sanzo's room. Thankfully, the temperamental monk had gone to bed, so I was free from any questions or comments that he might have had.

I tiptoed quietly in the darkness, until a voice reached my ears; a cold shiver ran down my spine.

"Goku, get your ass over here,"

Damn. I sighed, obeying his demands as I slugged over to the side of his bed, where he was still in his sleeping position, despite his current status. Kneeling down, I could hear him shift in the darkness, his face appearing in the one ray of moonlight flowing through the window. He had a stern expression, the one he always wore, though, this one seemed . . . calmer in a sense. He looked at me with relieved eyes... I couldn't help but think something was up.

I watched as he lifted himself into a sitting position on the bed, his gaze still resting on me. Time stood still for a while, as I began to get lost within those damn royal purple eyes of his. I began to lose control of my senses; the silence was making my ears ring.

"S-Sanzo, what do you want?" I questioned, stepping forward slightly. He stared longingly at me.

"'Ch" was all I heard before I felt myself being yanked forward by the shirt, my lips coming into contact with his own. Many emotions flowed through me; I was shocked at first, but that melted away to a comfortable desire. His lips were soft as we pressed together. Tugging at his neck, I shifted to a more comfortable position on the bed, still in a fierce liplock with my charge.

The kiss lasted for no more than a minute, but it was incredible nonetheless. I had never felt anything as sensual as that was. As I pulled away from him, catching my breath, I grinned brightly.

I wasn't surprised when his fan came crashing down on my cranium.

"Hey! What was that for!?"

"Don't make me do anything like that again, bakasaru!" Sanzo scolded. "I only did that because you looked. . ." My sun resisted the last word. I just sat there in silent confusion. He scoffed, laying back down onto his bed.

"You just looked. . . so helpless."

My heart skipped a beat at the last syllable. What exactly was Sanzo getting at? It was too late at night, it wasn't the time for thinking. I just gave him a huge smile before curling up in the sheets of my bed. Feeling red in the face, I buried the side of my head into my pillow.

"Goodnight Sanzo," were my last words before I drifted off into a slumber filled with dreams of the trigger-happy monk. Strangely, after what happened, I didn't think of "her" for even a second.


End file.
